I Don't Smoke Anymore

I'm addicted to pain.

I don't know when it started or where it came from, I just know I have this love of suffering.

I feel at home in misery. It lures and comforts me.

It used to be a pleasure/pain addition. Dropping the pleasure was easy, but the pain - that's the difficult part.

I suppose it's a lifelong habit. My negative inner voice is strong, sure, and insisting. The emotional pull is undeniable.

I can now see my endless optimistim as a partner to disappointment and discouragement.

By day I'm all good, by night I can't wait to turn off the lights and embrace the failures.

Persistent, tenacious, ugly, destructive = Pain, misery, suffering, cancer.

I am addicted to pain. It comes around everyday with an irresistible offer.

I just say I quit last week.

And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.