Monday, November 16, 2009

it's never too late

I planned a career, and plan events, like my wedding. I planned to buy a house someday, and drive a nice car. I even planned to start a family and live somewhere nice with them.

But I didn't plan to have cancer. That was not in my plans.

So what happens to all the other plans when I'm stuck in treatment for 2 years and I am so sick I can't leave my house, or take my kids to the movies. Even now that I'm recovered, my prognosis still hangs over me and sometimes keeps me from pursuing some of those "plans", especially now that they don't seem so important anymore.

I know I'm here for a limited time, maybe that's the trouble. I want to make the most of it. I am not willing to waste time in crappy job or around crabby people.

I find myself wanting to be around people that are on their last leg, other people that aren't making any plans either. I want them to know that I also know; I'm here, I care, I feel.

And in the end, it doesn't matter what sort of career I have, or the which neighborhood I live in. My legacy, like all of us, will be who I am to those around me.

1 comment:

diana christine said...

i have thought of you in the past months and wondered how you are; am filled with joy to find you here now. thank you for this beautiful, poignant writing. sometimes i feel regret for not fulfilling all those "plans" i had, and your writing reminds me i am here to be here, to be here as fully as possible, not for all the things i thought i had planned. i wish you to feel better...i wish you love, and hope. diana